Tourism
is the number one leading resource in Hawaii. This is because tourism affects
many different aspects. Tourists come from all over the place, mostly Japan and
china. Without tourism, the amount of jobs would decrease, along with the
population, and our economy would crash.
A lot
of people come to Hawaii for vacation. In 2010, there were a total of 1,363
visitor arrivals here on Hawaii. In 2011, there were 1, 375. There’s an expected
amount of 1,389 visitor arrivals for this year. With these numbers adding onto
Hawaii’s population, it creates a lot of traffic. Our main tourist attractions
such as Waikiki and Ala Moana, are usually packed, especially during the summer
and some holidays. All the traffic on the streets, beaches, and sidewalks can
create a lot of upset people. If the amount of visitor arrivals increase and
the number of people on the streets increase, Hawaii’s population may decrease.
However,
the more tourist expenditures there are, the better our economy. In 2010, the
total amount of visitor expenditures was $11,066 billion. In 2011 it was
$12,255 billion. $14,123 billion is the predicted amount of visitor
expenditures this year. With all this money going to our state, we could pay
for a lot of things. Most of the tourist money was spent at hotels, restaurants,
popular stores, and other popular locations. This money helps keep all these
businesses up and running. Tourism is the number one leading resource in Hawaii
because it stimulates the economy.
As said
in the previous paragraph, tourist spends most of their money at hotels, restaurants,
and popular stores. This helps to keep businesses alive. In 2010, Hawaii’s
visitor industry provided 152,864 jobs. In 2011, it provided 6,678 jobs.
Without tourist, a lot of businesses/places would probably shut down, such as
Hawaii Airlines, Sheraton Hotel, International Market Place, Bishop Museum,
Water Park, etc.
In conclusion,
tourism is the number one leading resource here on Hawaii. It affects many
different aspects and stimulates our economy. Without the amount of tourist expenditures
and visitations, people would probably lose their jobs and our economy would
crash.
Capitalize the c in china in the first paragraph. Stay on topic of tourism because you talked a little bit about traffic. I like the statistics thoug.
ReplyDeleteUnlike Dylan, I really liked that you went a bit off topic. It shows that you have a lot to say. Although do be careful; don't go into something else too much. Also, your essay was at an appropriate length.
ReplyDeleteThere was a little capitalization errors and you should stay on one topic and start to introduce an new topic instead. overall it was very good
ReplyDeleteYou need to follow the chunky paragraph format. Some of the body pargraphs are missing the TWO pieces of evidence that is required. Also your thesis is very strong but not each part of your thesis is discussed. For examples your first body paragraph is about traffic (which is a very broad and basic discussion), that is not evevn mentioned in the thesis or introduction. Also some of your facts may be wrong. For example you say in 2010 only 1,363 vistors came to Hawaii. However how is that little amount able to spend 11 billion while visiting. That doesn't make sense, you need to correct your visitor amount because that is a very low number. Please make the changes and do a better job discussing your topic. AS(2+)
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